The title explains it all. People always ask me why aren't you dating anyone? Why don't you have a girlfriend etc.. I tell them the truth, I'm not ready. It sounds stupid but it's the truth, I'm very career driven and feel that being with someone would just distract me. That's what I always thought was the reason for why I wouldn't jump into a serious relationship but then it hit me, there's more to it. I'm soo scared of getting hurt. I hate the feeling of losing something you once had, I hate the feeling of built up emotions that you just can't express, I hate not being able to fully control a situation. I experience smaller dosage of this when I fight with friends or family members so I can only imagine how much deeper those feelings would be if it was with someone I was intimate with. Not saying I haven't been in a relationship before because that would be a lie but a serious serious one, I can't say that I have.
Is it stupid for me to feel this way? I know all the positive things that come out of relationships and hapiness they can bring but dammn the negative side can weigh just as much and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
So until I bottle up the courage to take a deep dive into love & relationships, I'mma keep it light and now I hope you understand why I am the way I am.
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